It happens to all of us. We are dealing with conflict or having to present a differing viewpoint, or maybe we’re in the middle of a heavy conversation or negotiation. All of a sudden we realize, the words we need are nowhere to be found! Are you giving in on terms and conditions you know you should be defending?
Watch this week’s episode where I look at 3 ways we undermine our own interests when we are dealing with conflict.
Whether we chalk it up to nerves, anxiety, fatigue or avoidance, one thing’s for sure. We often self-sabotage ourselves, even if completely unintentionally. Communicating from a place of strength when you are dealing with conflict means being able to represent your interests when it counts. Confidently, intentionally and purposefully. Negotiating our way through a conversation or a deal we’re working on is as much about the process – what process do I have to go through to get to my end-game? – as it is about outcomes.
Self-sabotage when we are dealing with conflict comes into play when we are uniquely focused on the outcomes.
Our goals tend to slip away when we feel un-aligned with the other side. It conflicts with what we want and creates tension, causing discomfort and for some us, avoidance or accommodation.
In this video, I highlight:
- What to do when this happens. HINT: practice strategic listening, otherwise known as active listening
- How self-sabotage shows up when you’re dealing with conflict. This is so you can cultivate awareness.
1. We Are Not Prepared
The goal is to gain enough knowledge so you can react in a way that benefits you when the other side says or does something that’s contrary to your understanding of the situation.
2. When to Talk | What To Say
We can be disarmed without realizing it and reveal too much information – a nervous reaction – or we can find ourselves increasingly more uncomfortable with the other side’s position. It’s important to be aware of what you’re feeling and avoid the need to justify.
3. Make Assumptions
Assumptions create limiting beliefs and prevent flexible thinking. While we’re navigating a set of competing interests, it’s a mistake to assume all interests are incompatible. We often approach tough conversations or negotiations with a competitive mindset that sets us up to win or lose – this mindset allows self-sabotage to flourish! To avoid self-sabotage when dealing with conflict, we should focus on all the possibilities that are available and how to leverage them for our benefit.
Watch the Video. 👇
Have you found times when you have been in a situation of self-sabatoge? Have you found helpful tips in dealing with conflict. I would love to hear about it. Comment below.
If you found this video helpful, share it with a friend and comment below what other topics you would like me to address.
You might also enjoy Objections are Opportunities.
Pin this 👇
Your Next Steps:
Follow Jackie for free tips, tactics, and strategies she shares throughout the week on social media.
Email Jackie: Helpdesk@jackiefcoaching.com